Iris Hedge finds out that New York City is a very long way from the San Fernando Valley. She’s pulled up roots, leaving husband and house and a steady job to take a new position with a top-flight marketing research firm…only to lose it a few days after her arrival. She is the proverbial fish out of water, far out of her element in the Big Apple and stuck with no income, no car, and no fashion sense whatsoever.
As horrible as it may sound, Iris isn’t completely alone. She’s made one friend in the form of Val, a co-worker before Iris was laid off. She’s the epitome of New York cool compared to the drab Iris, who is more comfortable cosmetic-free in ratty sweats (how very gauche.) In an effort to keep the friendship alive, Iris agrees to meet Val at a local bar…only to find her crying amid a pile of high-end shopping bags. Iris is a bit thrown off at first: Val has blond hair now…in a pageboy? In a pink sweater? Val must have gone off the deep end because she wouldn’t be caught dead in a pink sweater.
After a minute or two – and a beer – Iris realizes this isn’t Val at all, but Val’s twin sister, Vickie. When Val arrives, Vickie spills the beans: her husband, Steve, is cheating on her. Or so she thinks. Again. In a drunken epiphany, Vickie hires the unemployed Iris to tail her husband and come up with proof of his infidelity. Before she knows what’s going on, Iris has a budding private eye business tailing the cheating Steve and a growing circle of friends, which includes her fabulous downstairs neighbor, Simon – a whiz with a pair of scissors, and an eye for the perfect haircolor. Oh, and he can work wonders with lip gloss, powder blush, and a butter knife.
The real story is the chase, because catching Steve red-handed is virtually impossible for the totally incompetent gumshoe. Steve isn’t Steve (or isn’t what he seems to be), and what she uncovers is way more than she ever expected…or could hope for.
The first half of the book, I’m rooting like mad for Iris. Plant your feet firmly in New York City and bloom like…well, like an iris! Maybe she’ll make friends? Grow some fashion sense? Land another job? By the second half, I’m hoping Iris will stop whining about everything and pay attention. Her powers of observation aren’t even remotely close to being believable because someone with this severe an affliction would end up getting hit by a bus. Being blind to the obvious would be hilarious had her character not turned into an accusatory version of a sob story, ready to assume the absolute worst about everyone she comes across.
The plot is about as clear as mud. She avoids her mother, Joy, for no discernable reason. Steve is either a world-class cheater, or he’s one busy guy with a scheduling issue. Val floats in and out like a black cloud with tastefully smudged eyeliner. Vickie is a vindictive power shopper. And two new characters are thrown in at the last minute, which left me wondering if I had overlooked a chapter – or an entirely different storyline. With a fairly full cast, I expected to find a connection with the ladies (this is chicklit, after all) but ended up on the sides of poor, put-upon Steve and neighbor Simon, simply because they both were written with strong personalities.
Naturally, the last couple of chapters hold the magical keys when all comes into focus for the ever-blind Iris. Surprised? Nah.
After 300 or so pages worth of my time, I expected a better pay-off. This could have been hell-on-wheels fun, sassy, and a poignant life lesson but it’s a disappointment in the end.
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Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: 5 Spot (October 19, 2006)
ISBN: 0446697842
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