Rags And Old Iron: Lorelei Shannon

College student Amy daydreams about romance with handsome pirates and sensual dark lords. But intense nightmares and hallucinations are robbing her of her sanity and destroying her health. Her friend Xavier, a Yaqui mystic, realizes her bizarre visions are real memories from Amy's childhood. A malevolent presence from her forgotten past has come to claim her, heart and soul -- Amy and her friends are in dire danger. Louis, a handsome voodoo priest, can help, but even his power and the strength of his love may not be enough to save Amy. When Evil loves you, can you ever truly escape its embrace?

In the beginning we were all created from a cesspool full of algae, miniscule bacteria and who knows what else. It is from this same splooge that our villain has spawned from, in the middle of a decrepit and unused hotel nonetheless, in its pool. A young girl, Amelie, finds herself drawn to the building and while dodging falling coconuts comes upon a new playmate.

A child's joy happens amongst dancing rats and a shape shifting plant demon who's favorite game seems to be changing into the big bad green wolf and hunting poor Amelie down, or letting her ride his back like a miniature horse of a different color. Sooner or later a love triangle happens between the white six year old, the plant boy and the black son of a voodoo priestess. A hissy fit is thrown and suddenly the playground is all Rag's, no more Louis, Amelie is to be all his...forever! The guardians get involved and then poof, end of story, the plant boy is killed by wild and unruly bouts of magic while Amelie's brain shuts down having decided to block out all memories of her imaginary friend.

Thirteen years pass and it seems as if Amy's dreams are becoming even more real by the moment. This is where our story begins. Rags, our local plant demon, creation, creature, male...thing, has found himself further abilities by being reared with the local black voodoo cult. He shall have HIS Amelie no matter what the cost, his almost primal want, NEED, fueled by sacrifices and cheers from his artificial mother, father, and his creators. It is up to Amelie’s friends to rescue her from the big bad green wolf turned prince charming who really only wants to love her. Will he manage to get to her and join his tangled heart with hers? Will he be able to persuade her to love him? Will the gay friend ever get a man? One may never know.

Between the adult hissy fits thrown causing bloody massacres and the ’long and hard and lumpy’ things growing between Rag’s legs, we find ourselves thrown for one loop after another on a hilarious rollercoaster ride. It is like an accident where you want to look away but you can NOT pull your gaze from it. This book is truly horrible but with its very original story, it is indeed a great read. It took a lot to force myself to put it down and page after page I could not help but laugh loudly at the fumbling of the lengths that Rag’s went to, a fumbling villain who just wants to be loved. In all honesty I would recommend it to anyone who wishes to venture into this unique romantic tale with a disclaimer to not take it seriously. It looks like Shannon has seen too many hentai pornos with tentacle rape because this story is definetly a cross between that and the tell-tale heart by Poe. She holds nothing back touching on topics such as supernatural rape, gay and lesbian tendencies, interracial sex, ageless passions and religious battles. The only thing missing is a midget and an enchanted kitchen sink.

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Publisher: Juno Books (January 20, 2007)
ISBN-10: 0809556243
ISBN-13: 978-0809556243

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