Real Vampires Have Curves: Gerry Bartlett

What-- did you think all vamps were pale, thin, and brooding? Don't I wish. Me, I just happened to be bloating when a sexy Scotsman sank his teeth into me, so here I am, Glory St. Claireeternally "full figured." On the plus side, I can rock a corset like its nobody's business. Oh, and as for Angus Jeremiah Campbell III, a.k.a. Jeremy Blade? We've been on again off again for centuries, currently off. After a couple hundred years we sure know how to press each others hot buttons-- in good ways and bad.

The whole never-aging thing means that a girl's gotta keep moving, and I'm heading for austin and a new business venture: Vintage Vamp's Emporium. After all, I love cute clothes, and I am an antique. Only problem is, therels a billionaire techno-freak vampire hunter on the loose. Blade's in total he-vampire mode and wants me to move in with him so he can "protect" me. But I'm sickof the not-so-little-woman thing. It's time for this vamp to explore her powers.

While being technically sound, the story lacked any real oomph. It never captured my attention and was incapable of holding it. Mid-book the incessant whining of the heroine about her figure and the posessive nature of her "maker" drew attention away fom the the plot...what little there was. The cast of characters where predictable and lame. Although she took her time developing them I felt that most weren't worth the effort.

Over use of the word "Vamp", with it's multiple meanings, aggravated instead of seeming "clever". It was also confusing--instead of using alternate, and more commonly known synonyms such as revamp, the author just kept beating a dead horse. For instance, in one chapter the author used the word vamp for three different meanings, which had me scrambling for a dictionary every other page to see to which the author referred.

Additionally, I can't tell if this is a paranormal fantasy or just more chicklit. The author seemed to lose focus--after running in one direction, she forgets it and goes off in another. The few plot twists that existed were predictable and unimaginative at best, just pointless at worst.

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Publisher: Berkley Trade (March 6, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0425213773
ISBN-13: 978-0425213773
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