The Secret History of Vampires: Edited by Darrell Schweitzer

Vampires have held a beloved place in popular literature for over a hundred years. We can thank the ravings a drunken Irishman for bringing them to the forefront of the culture and making them such creatures of mystery and seduction. From time to time some writers will even try to take historical figures and place them within the pages of a vampire story, giving us a "maybe they might have been" scenario. In The Secret History of Vampires editor Darrell Schweitzer has gathered together quite collection of illustrious figures and thrown them into the darkness, as it were. Unfortunately, some of them should have stayed there.

By his own admission in the forward to this book, the editor has claimed that a call was put out to authors to take historical figures and happenings and place a vampiric theme in and around them. Have you ever wondered why Teddy Roosevelt felt the need to "walk softly and carry a big stick"? That's because he knew the truth about vampires. I'm sure many were curious when Greta Garbo slipped away into hiding with her oft-quoted phrase "I vant to be alone". Not only was she a vampire, she was also the subject of a large MGM cover-up that you would not believe. Yea, vampires in Hollywood, who would have guessed? Not only that though, this book runs the gamut from ancient Greek philosophers (Socrates, Demosthenes) to historical beauties (Helen of Troy, Cleopatra). Even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Harry Houdini aren't exempt from the silliness. And just to make it all fun and really blasphemous the first story opens at the Vatican. I won't tell you who is chained up underneath the cathedral but if you think really hard I'm sure you can probably figure out who it was that arrived at the very beginning "with Peter's baggage".

Despite the cleverly concealed sarcasm you might be able to tell that I didn't much care for this book. I've read a lot of vampire anthologies in my day and this one just didn't do it for me. The stories seemd contrived and silly as if the authors just took a figure and said "Hey, this dude would make a great vampire". By the time I reached the story about Cleopatra I'd had enough and I put the book down. Despite it's "clever" concept it easily fits in the pile of "generic vampire anthology that you've read a million times before".
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Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: DAW (April 3, 2007)
ISBN-10: 075640410X
ISBN-13: 978-0756404109
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