Maxim ‘Max’ Cox is good-looking, rich, and women seem to fall head over heels for him (think that has anything to do with his cash? After reading this book, I certainly don’t think it has anything to do with his personality). Every woman, that is, except one: his college crush, independent feminist Elisa Cross – especially after he nearly blew her up in chemistry class while ogling a brand-new boob job. Back in school, Elisa’s immunity to his charms only drew him to her, arousing him to no end. But now, she’s on the cover of a national tabloid, disinherited by her celebrity father for being a … porn star? And, of course, the twit’s jealous, because if there’s gonna be one man with her in porn -- much less two -- he wants to be both of them.

After Elisa’s ex, Derrick, posts their sexual encounters for fun and profit on the internet, video, and dvd market, Elisa’s reputation is figuratively flushed down the toilet. Unaware of what Derrick had done – that anything was taped, much less that anything was for sale -- the public outcry takes Elisa completely by surprise, as well as her soap-star father who promptly disowns her. Mortified by the allegations of sexual misconduct, Elisa hides out at her family’s cabin in Aspen.

I quote from the back of the book, because I can’t make this shit up: “So when Maxim appears out of nowhere in the middle of a snowstorm, Elisa is livid, slamming the door in his smug, if frozen, face. Of course she can’t let him freeze to death on her front porch. So she devises a torturous game that’s intended to sexually satisfy her – but only bring him painfully to the brink of earth-shattering sexual release …”

You’ve got to be kidding me. Max(im) Cox?! Vive la porn star name! And the attempted metaphors are horrible. Let me give you an example: “Instantly, he longed to wrap his fingers in her incredible mane and ride her like a stallion.” Neigh, neigh, good sir.

Sorry, my gag reflex is acting up mighty awful.

And if I caught a peeping tom jacking off outside my secluded cabin, I wouldn’t invite him in. I’d call the cops, rightfully report a stalker, and press charges. Let's see … stalked you in college … hmm … stalking you now … hmm … has already quite literally left you scarred for life from that explosion since you wouldn’t agree to do what he wanted then … what to do, what to do …

Hello! Plot, meet brain. Brain, meet plot.

Book, meet shredder. Kitty needs litter.

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ISBN: 978-0-425-21875-4
Publication date December 4, 2007, through Berkley Heat
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