On the 19th day of March -- the 6th anniversary of the beginning of the Iraq war -- it was announced that Random House's imprint, Crown Publishing, signed a book deal with George W. Bush. The figure being bandied about: $7 million.

His novel memoir is tentatively titled "Decision Points," and is his take on the twelve most difficult decisions he made during his presidency: Katrina, Iraq, Afghanistan, September 11th, just to name a few.

Rumor has it that the ex-President is 30,000 words into this manuscript -- an impressive feat given his butchery of the English language ("Our children is learning" comes to mind.) I'm fairly sure some poor editor will have his/her hands full. However, since fact-checking is only reserved for James Frey's latest endeavor, that poor editor will have plenty of time for translation.

30,000 words...oh how I'd love to sneak a peek at Cheney's Bush's handiwork! Is he copying straight off the cheat sheet or is this a simpleton's glossy effort to "humanize" his sagging persona; a drunkard's shot at drying out, finding God and shacking up with that pitiful creature, Laura. I can see Karl Rove hovering over that poor editor's shoulder..."No, Dear Editor, strike out that how-to list on "Starting an Illegal War in 3 Easy Steps." And that chapter on "Illegal Wiretapping for Dummies"...no, that just won't do! Where's that red pen?"

I think the best Crown can hope for is 30,000. Maybe a pop-up book would be a better format.