On the advice of a friend, I watched the Rachel Maddow show the other night. Rachel’s guests on this particular evening were Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, the authors of the Left Behind series. Knowing that I’m not very tolerant of religious zealots, but more than willing to take shots at them, it turned out to be good advice.
LaHaye did most of the talking on the topic of President Obama. It’s the viewpoint of these two gentlemen that Obama is a “socialist” who is “cleverly packaged,” as is our government. Even more interesting, LaHaye stopped just short of saying that Obama is the anti-Christ; later redirecting by concluding that he couldn’t be, due to the way the rapture would unfold and the events that would follow – not to mention that Obama isn’t “popular enough.”
However, from what Maddow could unravel from LaHaye’s quiet rantings, Obama, whether he is the symptom or the cause, is theologically linked to the end of the world. I wonder how that will affect his approval rating. Even more important, what will Michelle wear? The good news is that after the rapture, only the evil and the non-Christians will be “left behind” so that leaves plenty of botox-infused fashion hags to trash talk her sense of style.
(Watching Tim LaHaye, my mind kept conjuring an image of him in a barn, late at night, wearing a leather harness and nipple clamps, preaching fire and brimstone to a local girl he has chained to the wall—don’t be alarmed, I am seeking help for this.)
I did a little background check on the psycho duo and their series: in 1995 the first book, Left Behind, was published. It is an apocalyptic tale of good and evil and revolves around the coming rapture. The series has since grown to 16 books and has sold more than 65 million copies. Although the series is based on the Bible’s Book of Revelation (which does not mention the rapture), the authors -- in an effort to keep their "crazy" to an acceptable level -- consider the series to be fiction. However, the fiction label hasn’t stopped millions of followers from buying the books and buying into the bullshit.
According to the rantings of these lunatics, Jesus is supposed to return to Earth and wipe out all non-Christians and “sinners.” Last I checked, that’s called ethnic cleansing or genocide. I sort of remember someone else doing that. Now, who was it… Oh, that’s right. Hitler. Since these books are the brain child (and I use the word "brain" loosely) of two mortal men, doesn’t that make LaHaye and Jenkins religious Nazis and everything they spout in these books mere projection of their own demented thinking? I thought Christianity was all about love and forgiveness; yet, these whack-jobs are screaming for blood. Even scarier are the legions of sheep who are hanging on their every word like it’s real.
I wish there were more time in the day for me to actually read some of these insightful tomes, but I’m saving all that brain power for more important things like matching up my socks or rearranging my human hair collection. So, rather than delay things by getting all the annoying first hand information, I thought I’d let the minions… I mean the millions... who have read them do it for me.
This (summarized) review is from “A. Ross” who sums up the first book and captures my heart:
… Now, understand that I picked up this book because I was in love with the notion of millions of people disappearing at once and the impact that would have… I'm still trying to figure out how and why people went right back to work at their old jobs within a day or two of the big event. I know I'd be inclined to take a few personal days...
Don't waste time reading this book if you're an intelligent person looking for theological answers or inspiration; you'd get more from an Amy Grant album.
Do read this book if you just emerged from the primordial ooze, or have recently become hooked on phonics.
I can't stop reading these books. It's partially the unbelievably bad writing; partially the team authors' total ignorance of world history, religion and culture, which results in hilarious descriptions. (For example, in the second book, an orthodox Jewish rabbi stops at a Jerusalem cafe serving shrimp.) Parts of the books would be laugh out loud funny if they weren't so frightening. But the truly fascinating part is the number of people (tens of millions) who actually find this hate-mongering trash to be inspirational.
This book is awesome…
Sorry, I just can’t do it; my skin is starting to crawl and my eye is twitching. Besides, with a name like Kickin4christ, I think you can fill in the blanks.
So before I go, let’s take a moment, bow our heads and give thanks. Thank you for people like A. Ross and MB, who have managed to resist the rampant dumbing-down of America and still have half a brain to realize absolute crap when they see it. People! We are not alone, there is hope!
Can I get an Amen?