Rating: 3 stars

As we well know, not everything can be controlled. I have a favorite saying: Life happens while you’re busy making plans. Things don’t always turn out the way we plan—or hope—and despite the futility, many of us will still try to control what cannot be controlled.

In The Wisdom to Know the Difference, Eileen Flanagan sets out to bring examples of such instances to the forefront to help us figure out what we truly may be able to change and how to let go of what we can’t.

As with most spiritual/self-help books, you read with the hope that one of the stories will closely resemble the earth-shaking issue you’re going through for a chance to glean insight to the way others have successfully dealt with the problem.

Some of the examples used were fairly serious: a mother who prayed her son wouldn’t have to go to Iraq; he went and gave his life for our country; a man who becomes paralyzed after a serious accident. These are two extreme examples of life-changing events that could not be controlled; and, since neither of these outcomes can be changed, it seems acceptance—voluntary or otherwise—is the only way to move forward.

Everyday stressors and anger were also touched on, which is an area that can be changed. Finding a way to successfully deal with stress and anger could make a huge difference in someone’s quality of life. However, there weren’t any new techniques for coping, just the usual breathing and meditating exercises—not that they aren’t viable options, but sometimes after taking a breath, I’d still like to throttle someone.

Then there are the “true believers”, those who have faith that if they just trust in God, all will be taken care of. I tested this theory out once when I was short on money and the rent was due… Although it could have gotten lost in the mail, I’m pretty sure God never sent my landlord that rent check.

Eileen Flanagan is definitely on the right track, providing insight to life’s unexpected surprises and presenting useful tools to assist with better coping and guidance towards acceptance.
The Wisdom to Know the Difference may not be able to solve all of life’s problems, but it might be able to help put the chaos into better perspective.
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Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Tarcher; Reprint edition (September 2, 2010)
ISBN-13: 978-1585428298